Prior to going on the trip, we already had countless things going on that were getting in the way of our original plans for Jamaica. Numerous people were feeling sick, flights were getting cancelled and delayed for days, and it was apparent that the enemy did not want us in Jamaica. Of course, God always wins and it all works out (just not in the ways we thought)
One of the biggest things I learned this week was the need to completely let go of my own control, because in a huge sense, I don’t have any. I know that God is in control in my life, and I am just following His guidance. There were many things that happened unexpectedly and not necessarily in the ways I wanted them to, but I know now that my plans play no comparison to His, even when I don’t initially agree. It’s a humbling experience learning to go with the flow, and to find God through pain, suffering, confusion; you name it. He allows things to happen so that we can rely on Him and to let go of pride.
The whole week was filled with physical and emotional challenges, but it was also filled with beautiful moments you would never expect. We started the week by cleaning things around the house, reorganizing rooms and scrubbing some of the walls. They had a flood a few months earlier that made their garage pretty messy, so we power-washed the room and all the storage in there. Once everyone had safely made it to Jamaica, we started to go into the community to work with children and families who could use our help. There was one day in particular that I will truly never forget:
My Divine Appointment
One morning we were headed to Gully Bank, a nursing home for women and men in Jamaica. I was walking into the mens’ ward and walked down the center isle, with bed after bed of men on both sides of me. Some men were sitting up and smiling, while others were having body compulsions. Others laid there lifelessly. As I started to walk past one of the men who looked emaciated to say the least, I felt God telling me to not be scared and to talk to him, even though I was terrified. After a few seconds, I turned around and kneeled next to this man. He was looking up at the ceiling with 4 or 5 flies on his face. His body was disfigured and was made up of only skin and bone. I started to rub his head and I watched him close his eyes. I then felt a sudden need to pray for him, and 15 minutes later, I was still going, and sobbing at the same time. During the time I was praying for him, I felt like I was lifting his burdens, and that I could feel what he was feeling. I had never experienced something like that before. When I opened my eyes and looked at him, I saw a tear mark in the corner of his eye. During those twenty minutes, no words were ever expressed, nor did they need to be. I know that God placed that divine appointment in my life to show that precious old man that God still loved him. I truly don’t know if that time together meant more to me or him, but I do know that God will use anyone, anywhere to show someone love.
Nobody can steal my joy
If anyone knows me really well, they know that I am a picture freak. I carry my camera like people carry a cell phone. I woke up on the last morning of the mission’s trip and went to look through my pictures on my camera. When I went to play back my pictures, the LCD screen said no image. I started to mildly freak out, frantically trying to figure out how it was possible that my 800 pictures were gone. As much as I was devastated, I had to remind myself that I had no control over the situation, and that I couldn’t waste my time and emotions being angry and upset. Others in the house started to hear about it, and I can’t express the level the encouragement people were giving me. Whether it was little 10 year old Daniel writing “send pictures to D” on his hand,Bethenny writing me an encouraging letter, or the men of the group praying over me, I was feeling so loved. They knew it was a big deal for me that I lost all my pictures from the week, and everyone reached out to me to make me feel better. Sometimes we get so caught up in the sufferings that we don’t take the time to appreciate the little blessings in disguise.
A Predicament to Paradise
Liz, Natalie, and I headed to the airport on the last day of the trip to go home. When we looked at the departure board, about 20 flights were listed, and only one of them were cancelled. Yep, it was ours. Not even delayed, just cancelled. I started getting upset in the airport. I had just lost all my pictures, and I was leaving to study abroad 3 days later and I couldn’t afford to miss one more day at home. I pulled it together and reminded myself that I had no control over the situation. We waited in what we thought would be a short line for 2 ½ hours. We were pretty much up to our breaking points with frustration and impatience, but we finally made it to the front. The airline staff member told us he would be putting us in the holiday inn for the night, and that we would catch the 6 pm flight the next day. I don’t know about you, but the holiday inn back home is not the first place I would want to go. We show up to the inn, and our minds our instantly blown. We were suddenly in the lobby of a 4 star all-inclusive resort on the beach that stretched out among 7 buildings. The next 16 hours consisted of relaxing beach side under a sunny sky, eating delicious food, and enjoying entertainment from the resort. It was during that time that I felt God’s love for me, and that he wanted to spoil me with a day of fun and peace after a hard week physically and emotionally. God is always ready to bless you like crazy, you just need to take the time to look for it, big or small.
