Finding light in the darkness

I have been battling a back injury for the majority of the summer. Admittedly, when I can't work out to the level I am used to, everything else in my life seems to fall apart.

It's only been about a week now that I am able to walk comfortably, stand around comfortably, and not have to take 6 Advil a day and ice my back whenever I can. What a frustrating process. But I also realized how I put my life on hold at the first sign of adversity.

But what if God is trying to teach me the most important lessons in the MIDST of adversity?

The other day I went on a walk in my neighborhood. A walk instead of a run. Walking for exercise feels so lame after I have been able to run 10 miles. But on this walk, God showed me two things. A tunnel and an open field.

The tunnel for me, represented fear of the unknown. Not knowing where to place my steps. Being blinded by the light on the other side and temporarily afraid of moving forward. It's a lonely place. Confining and isolating and scary. But God showed me that I have to do two things in that tunnel - trust Him with my steps, and remember that the light floods the darkness and I just have to be patient while my eyes adjust.

How many times do I go through a tunnel as fast as I can because I am afraid? How many times do I look only at what's ahead and miss what God is trying to show me in my very next steps?

In my neighborhood, this tunnel leads directly into a wide open field. I think God was trying to show me that life is wide open. My life is wide open, and I can't limit myself to only focusing and obsessing on the scale or my weight or my calorie intake.

So in this slow exercise season, I have been able to slow my life down and try new things. Would I go on long walks and listen to Steven Furtick sermons on my iPod if I was able to run? Probably not. Would I swim laps for a mile and find peace in the sound of the water instead of listening to Guns n Roses on my iPod while I'm on the spin bike? Nope. Is it possible that God is using this time to show me that there is more to me than just high octane cardio? Yup.

There is a lot more to you than your weight. Or your career. Or your boyfriend. Or your eating disorder. Or your kids. Or your bad habit. Or your church life. Or your team. Or your new school. Or your reputation. We were created for wide, open fields. Don't forget that.

-Liz

Gluten-free snack tips for dummies

Today I am on day 5 of gluten-free life. I have no idea how long this will last, so don't ask...

But while it's lasting, I thought I might give some tips of my favorite "clean" foods that I've been snacking on. Also important to note that I don't like cooking, I like easy.

1. Lara Bars. These are replacing my go-to Balance Bars. Totally different. Sweetened with dates and other natural fruits. My favorites are Cherry Pie, Apple Pie, and Coconut Cream Pie. (Although, if I had my way...I'd rather eat pie.)
2. Oatmeal. And lots of it. I just discovered an instant steel cut oatmeal by Oat Revolution. It's my on the go hot snack at the Y. Water from the coffee machine upstairs and oats in a Styrofoam cup. Magical.
3. Spinach, goat cheese, pear salad with balsamic. Not a big salad girl, but this one gets me good.
4. Trader Joe's Honey Greek Yogurt. This is like...crack. It is SO GOOD. Add granola and you will actually think you are doing crack. Confusing.
5. Hard boiled eggs. I don't like eggs for breakfast typically, but a hard boiled egg? Add some sea salt to it and it is an epic snacky treat.
6. PB2. This is a crazy powdered peanut butter that you can put in yogurt, cereal, oatmeal, smoothies, etc. 85% less calories than peanut butter and it doesn't taste like those other weird peanut butter substitutes I've tried like "Better Than Peanut Butter". GROSS. Talk about false advertising.
7. Vanilla almond milk. Better than soy in the flavor department. Yeah I said that.

And then if you are willing to take the plunge, my Vitamix blender has TRULY changed my life. They are stupid expensive, and my dad bought mine for me. So if you have a sweet dad, ask him to buy one for you. But I do shakes in it practically every morning. It also makes soups and salsas and dips and on and on, but I only make shakes. Here are some good ingredients:

1. Bananas. CRUCIAL. They thicken up the shakes and make it feel more filling.
2. Kale/Spinach mix. I get a mix at Trader Joe's called "Power to the Greens" which is chard, kale, and spinach. Spinach is by far the LEAST bitter green to add to shakes, so I recommend that if you are a taste snob like me.
3. Flax Seeds or Chia Seeds. They add fiber, and flax seeds add a nutty kick to a peanut butter chocolate smoothie. And the vitamix PULVERIZES these tiny seeds. It's crazy.
4. Almond milk. You only need a little! Spinach naturally breaks down into a bit of a liquid, so add less almond milk than you think you need.
5. Frozen fruit. My picks are berries, pineapple, or mango.
6. Coconut flakes.
7. Ice. If you aren't adding frozen fruit, you need some ice.
8. Hemp protein powder. This is the most natural yet least offensive tasting protein powder that is gluten-free.

Eating gluten-free has been really hard for me. And I know it won't last forever. But I have seen noticeable improvement in my restfulness at night and my general health during the day. Try it out if you want, but not if it makes you go CRAZY with snacking at night (I have noticed this as a side effect of cleanses for me. I do great during the day, but when the sun goes down, so does my will power because I am STARVING).

If you know of any other easy gluten-free snacks, let me know!

-Liz

Burn your fences

It's amazing what I can talk myself out of.

My life has been emotionally charged lately. I guess it's a combination of a lot of things, and a few things that I'm not willing to crack open on a blog. But let's just say my highs have been high, and my lows have been low. VERY low.

You would think that after two years of battling food issues, I wouldn't turn to food in the midst of emotional turmoil.

You would be wrong.

I still have go-to comfort foods. Even though, ultimately, these foods make me uncomfortable. I know what overeating does to me, but even though I know what it does to me, I do what I want. And after those few minutes of food bliss, I experience food depression. It's deep and dark and isolating and defeating.

So even though I know what I shouldn't do, I do it anyway. It makes me feel extremely alone, and I wonder if anyone deals with this as ridiculously as I do. And then God reminds me in Romans 7:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So if you are a fence sitter like me, take this seriously. Don't just hop off the fence, burn the fence. Don't let that fence be an option anymore. There is a battle going on for each one of us. An angel and a devil on each shoulder. One talking you out of bad decisions, the other talking you into bad decisions. Here is a list of thoughts that are TRUE SIGNS you are listening to the devil and not the angel. I know, because I think the same things:

1. I've had a long day. I deserve a little comfort food!
2. I'll start tomorrow.
3. Everyone else can eat whatever they want, so why do I have to live differently?
4. I already cheated once, so the weekend is lost anyway.
5. I just need a break.

And on and on and on. I haven't figured out the happy medium yet. But I do know from experience, that the slide starts slow and before you know it, you get out of control and when you lose self-control, it's the danger zone.

I had to get off the fence this week. While it's true that no one else is in my exact same circumstances, I have realized that food does not comfort me like I wish it would. It hurts me. And I'm not willing to hurt myself like this anymore.

If you're in the midst of a struggle like this one, know that God is on your side. So that is the side we have to listen to. Every. Single. Time.

-Liz