People ask me what I talk to groups about and I don't really have an answer. And I rarely have a plan. But what always ends up happening is group therapy. I love group therapy. But only with strangers.
A woman today, affirmed that I am not the only one. After we did an exercise in which I asked everyone to share their struggles (in an effort for them to realize they are not alone) I asked the group how it felt. And one woman said:
"Since I don't know anyone here, it felt good. I don't think I would have shared if people here knew me."
WHAT? Shouldn't it be the opposite? Is this why bloggers write their true feelings but can't share the same issues with the people they love? Is this why we hide behind computer screens and anonymous comments? Is this why I don't answer the phone but I immediately answer a text?
The strange fact is that we are more open with people that don't know us. And I think it's because the stakes aren't so high. I can get in front of a room of strangers and admit my struggles with weight and loneliness and criticism pretty openly. I can do this because I won't see most of those people ever again. But with my closest friends, I am still trying to be completely self-reliant. No needs. No issues. No problems.
Does anyone else see how messed up this is? There is an easy answer! Unfortunately, all of us have to commit to change. I am finding my friend circles are getting smaller and smaller as I get older. I wasn't prepared for this. But I think the reason is, as we get older, we know the types of friendships we don't want, and the types that we need. And the types that we need are VERY hard to find.
I want to be more open. Not just on a blog. With people that love me. And I want to be known. So if you know me, don't let me get away with it. Gauntlet thrown.
Your move. Challenge accepted?
