Something happens where you reach that goal, or you get tired, or you lose that sense of wonder because the process turns into a grind and you run out of things to say on the subject.
This hasn't happened to me. But it is the end of the beginning.
The onion has peeled for me. About ten times over. My weight has never been just about calories. Or pounds. Or pants sizes. It is much deeper and much more difficult. And I have come to realize that it will never be over. Because we never stop growing, never stop struggling, never stop trying to be better.
So we peel the onion.
The beginning was basic. Work out, eat right, lots of accountability. Results. The middle has been terrible. Back surgery. Neck surgery. Less accountability. The newness wore off. The excitement waned.
It's in the middle when we give up. When most of us move on to something else and put away the thing we struggle so badly to overcome. Instead of peeling the onion, we throw it away because it's too much. It has become too raw, too emotional, too hard.
I now realize why I am allergic to inauthenticy in myself and others. Why I hate it when I see it, and can't stand it when I do it myself. But I also realize why it's so damn hard. Being authenticly me is HARD. It is the peeling of the onion. It is the ripping of a band-aid. It is the breaking down of protective barriers we spent our whole life building.
So even though this blog has a lot of entries about weight loss, I want it to be much more. I want it to be deeper than that. I want to continue to peel the onion and work through what's beneath. It has been full of pain, joy, pauses, progress, and all points in between. But as Henry Cloud says, "Change happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of doing something different."
Peel that onion, world.
