"If you don't like what they're saying about you...

Mad Men premieres TONIGHT!
(See what I did there? Talk about a
timely blog post.)

....then change the conversation."

Don Draper is so tragic. But so wise.

I have noticed lately how we can live our entire lives fulfilling what people say about us. I have noticed how for some, this is a blessing. For some, this is a curse.

Who in your life do you listen to? Who do you lend your ear to and who gets to speak into your life?

I am a recovering people pleaser. I say recovering, because I have realized how so many of my friendships in the past have been about the other person and not about me. I pinpointed this one night when I was explaining my lack of desire to open up to others to a group of friends.

"I just don't want to offer up information about myself that much." Yes, I said it in that wording. To which my friend said "Maybe because you consider sharing something you have to offer up, like it's painful to let go of it. When the reality is, people just want to know you."

Hmm. I have been unpacking that statement for years since. Wait a minute, people want to know me? Like, the real me? The me that I am when no one is looking? The me that I am when my guard is down? The me that I am when I am exhausted and emotional and just need to vent?

Yes, world, that is true. There are people that want to know YOU. The problem is, you are too busy being someone you're not because you think that's what people want. This fake, got-it-all-together, perfectly manicured, exhausting person that you project.

I know that, because that's what I think too. I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of pretending like I have it all together. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, all of it. That mask is getting very, very heavy.

I propose that we change the conversation. Maybe drop the small talk once and a while and say deadly statements like "You know what? I'm really struggling" or "I can't lie to you, I don't have it all together" or even "I need your help."

Does that scare you as much as it scares me? Good...so when we start doing that to each other, we will both be gentle knowing that we have to do it, but we're afraid of it. And we can be afraid together.

-Liz