Jamaica tomorrow. Not a cruise. A mission.

Tomorrow I am leading a team of 16 to Jamaica to work with My Father's House ministries in Whitehouse, Westmoreland, Jamaica. I am feeling...unequipped.

I am not sure why God, throughout history, has used broken people to change the world, but He has. All through the bible I read about people who weren't ready, who made huge mistakes, who were outlaws, outcasts, and ousted by others, but God chose them.

And on this day, over 2000 years ago, God chose to walk alongside us as a baby, of all things. And a baby to an unwed mother. Not in an elaborate king's chambers, but in a manger. In a barn, surrounded by donkeys, filthy and cold.

Right now, I sit on a king size bed in my parents' house in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania surrounded by beautiful things. Tomorrow, I will stand in the middle of an impoverished country surrounded by beautiful people.

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last."

I would love your prayer for our week in Jamaica. I would love your prayer that I would get out of the way and let God use me. I would love your prayer that I would choose God and His will above me and my will. Because my will is freaking STRONG and I tend to make situations all about me, even when I don't mean to.

That's how deep my pride goes. Good thing God runs deeper.

-Liz

Feedback that feeds you back

Just got a great message from someone else in the weight struggle:


I just recently starting following your weight loss blog entries. Thank you for sharing! From someone else that struggles it is always encouraging to hear from others and what they are doing! Anyways.. just last night I was writing in my journal that I needed motivation. I can stay focused for a little while and then I sabotage myself! So then this morning I clicked on your blog entry and it was the perfect motivation! I needed to be reminded of my own self-worth and that my motivation is ME! Thanks for sharing!

Have I mentioned lately that you are not alone and that we are all in this together? Also, have I mentioned lately that Madonna's The Immaculate Collection is the best cd to run to? Another free tip. 

-Liz

The weight loss tip that you're not ready for.

So, as of my last weigh in, I have lost 44 pounds. I am starting to feel successful. Yes, I am slow, and I know I should have felt successful many pounds ago.

I am also starting to realize that I might be able to now share my success with other people that could be going through the same crap I've been going through and ARE going through. Yes, it's a weight loss tip. No, it has nothing to do with food and exercise. I guess a cool thing that's happened to me is that my weight loss is a by-product of me following this tip. As I type that, I realize how ridiculous that sounds. People might say this isn't a big deal or a new philosophy or a revolutionary thought of any kind. 

But they'd be wrong because I maintain that most of the world can't handle this tip. Ok, now on to the tip.

If you want to lose weight, you have to believe that you are worth it.

Actually, fill in the blank. If you want _____________ , you have to believe that you are worth it.

Get real with yourself. Are you worth it? Are you worth saving? Are you worth changing? Are you worth not settling? Are you worth all of the things that you dream of, that you want, that you pray for, that you can only imagine?

It might take you 35 years to figure that out. I hope that someone lights a fire under you and it happens quicker for you than it happened for me. Somewhere along the way, you and I stopped believing that we were worth it, that we were made for more, and that we are more than conquerors. Somebody lied to us and got us to be weak, to give up, to give in, and to settle.

Don't. Don't do that anymore. There is a first step that you need to take, and you might be the only one that knows what that step is. So take it. Have courage, and take it. The great news? We are all in it together - taking small steps that add up to 44 pounds. And more.

Fill in the blank and let's do it together.

-Liz

He’s just not that into me… and THAT IS OKAY!

So I’m about to get ridiculously uncomfortable and honest with you, like “Dear Diary” status.

My friend had recently set me up on a date, and both he and I were into the idea and looking forward to it. He waited to ask me for my number in person like a true gentlemen, and I was thrown off by this unfamiliar intentionality but it already made me feel special.  So our date came around and we had talked for hours. It was an incredible time to say the least. We had great conversation, laughed a lot, and were full of smiles. I left the date feeling happy and pleased and I was excited like any girl would be when a date goes really well.

A few hours later after the date, I got a call from him telling me that he thought I was great, but that he realized he did not want to pursue me as more than a friend.

Umm, WHAT? I was completely taken aback and blindsided. I don’t go on many dates, and I felt so confident about this one. Not to say I was doodling his name on paper or anything, but I did not think that this was going to come to such an unexpected stop within a few hours of the date itself.

My immediate thoughts were as follows: WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Did I not look pretty enough? Was I not as impressive as he’d hoped? While he could not give me a specific reason as to why he felt this why, all I felt was rejected.

Have you ever felt the pain of rejection? A boyfriend or girlfriend broke up with you. You didn’t get that job you hoped for. You didn’t make the team. You didn’t get into the college of your dreams. Or maybe it was as simple as someone not responding to you or getting invited somewhere.

 It’s funny how we deal with rejection. All of a sudden you become so self-conscious and so critical of yourself. You feel embarrassed, lame, pathetic, and just not good enough. You try to pick apart the situation or scenario to find the answer, even if there isn’t one.

But then it hit me – these are ALL LIES. The negative thoughts that we let sink in and consume us, they’re just not true. Because for whatever reason, it didn’t work out. It wasn’t because I had low value and self worth.

The truth is that God had a hand on that situation the ENTIRE time, from the start to the finish. He already knows my heart, my desires, and my dreams. After a few minutes of believing these lies about myself, God gave me an even bigger list of reasons why this was actually a good thing. While I have my own big plans, the reality is that His plans are bigger. I could have stayed upset and told myself I wasn’t good enough, but God wiped all that away just to show me that He is in control and that I AM good enough. Whether he was protecting me, my future, or my heart from getting hurt down the road, I have no idea. All I know is that God loves me a ridiculous amount and that I have to trust in Him COMPLETELY and whole-heartedly, and no boy in this whole world could ever fill that.

No matter what kind of rejection it is, no matter what situation, trust that God knows the deal, and He is looking after you. Because while it feels like a wound and roadblock in that moment, God is smiling because he has something BIGGER and better planned for you. It’s easy to focus on the curse and overlook the blessings, but I PROMISE they’re there if you look for them. And while you might feel like you’re in 2^nd place, 3^rd place, or even last, God will always put you in 1^st, and that is the best place you can be. So don’t sit in your sulk and let these times of temporary disappointment hold you back. Instead, get back out there, because He is continually ready to bless you like crazy!

So here’s to the One who IS just that into you.

-Dee

Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

I miss you, Christmas cookie. More than you know.

Merry Christmas! More importantly...watch out.

I have walked into a few parties recently and have seen the unavoidable dining room table spread. Chips, cookies, chips, brie cheese platter, chips, meatballs, chips, crock pots and...chips.

These are some kind of like, minty, frosting, shortbread
magic type of cookie. They are, in a word, MY JAM.

And I have walked out of a few dining room table spreads as I wonder what the heck am I going to eat at this party? Food is the great conversation stabilizer. If you don't know what to do with your hands, grab a fork and a plate and do some damage. Comment on how great the spinach dip is. Ask who brought the swedish meatballs and can you get the recipe? Comment on the fact that someone super lame brought veggies and lowfat dip.

This year, I was that super lame someone.

I'll admit, I do feel left out of social situations. I am set apart because I don't get to take part like everyone else does. I can't even walk into the room with Christmas cookies because - if I was an alcoholic, I probably couldn't order a diet coke in a bar, so why am I putting myself in danger? Don't get me wrong, one Christmas cookie won't do me in. But in my life, one Christmas cookie always brings his friends. He brings peppermint bark, peanut butter brownie, cheesecake, hershey kisses, and a host of others that I miss. More than you know.

I don't know if you are about to hit something hard over the next week, but chances are, it's a tough time of year for you. It might not be food, it might be family. Heck, it might be both, plus a few other things! I just want to encourage you that the emotions pass, the cravings subside, and the nights always turn into new days. No food is off limits, but stuffing yourself in order to fit in...is. For me, anyway.

Merry Christmas, peeps. Shoot, now I'm thinking about Easter candy. Crap.

-Liz

Update: I just left my aunt's house where we always have our annual Christmas Eve dinner. It could also be called "Reunion of the Clean Plate Club" or "You Better Eat Seconds or Thirds So We Don't Have a Ton of Leftovers". My cousin makes these BANGING cookies every year. I took a picture of them just to prove to you that they were there, they were my favorite, and I have NO IDEA WHAT THEY TASTED LIKE. Nailed it.


Confession: I did, however, eat some fried oysters and some tasty ambrosia salad. I'm no saint.

An anonymous comment that has me wondering...

A few posts ago, someone sent me an anonymous comment...


"You already are a great person so make sure you don't lose what makes you awesome along the way of becoming even better!!!!"


Hmmm.


I've been thinking about that comment for a few days. And as I am processing what Anonymous said, I am realizing how much truth is behind it, and that THAT VERY THOUGHT has haunted me my whole life.


If I lose all the weight, will I still be me? And has that fear stopped me from really going for this?


I have been overweight my whole life. So of course, like we all do, I developed some professional defense mechanisms and talents to take the attention off of my weight. Maybe if I make up for it in other areas, no one will notice the weight. I have a lot of talents, I guess. I can play guitar, drums, bass...I can sing, I can paint, and I consider myself pretty funny. I think I am an all-star friend, and I am pretty generous. I am not afraid to embarrass myself in public (which many of you have witnessed) and I have a soft heart that is probably, too soft at times. (Maybe that's why I am responding to this Anonymous.)


Have you ever stayed in a bad relationship because you were too afraid to move on? Have you ever chosen pain because the cost of freedom was too high? Have you ever let someone use you because you mistakenly thought it was love? If you haven't, you will. We all will. Because we are all trying to figure it out.


So Anonymous, thank you for the challenge. And I am publicly declaring (like a UFC weigh-in) that I am in this fight for the long haul and I will NOT lose who I am. Because I'm not willing to give up on myself. Because I am worth it. Because food did not make me awesome. God did. And my changed relationship with food isn't going to take that away.


Challenge.


-Liz

Put the fork DOWN.

Today, two of my co-workers took me to lunch to celebrate a big event I helped with. Eating at restaurants still stresses me out. I have to look up the calories, and I can't eat the endless bread they give you and, blah blah blah. See when I used to go to restaurants, it was all about the food. In fact, El Dorado has been my favorite restaurant for a long time because it's all the chips you can eat and the portions are massive.

But today something awesome happened. I chose wisely, I didn't eat everything I had, and I put my fork down. That might not sound like a big deal, but let me tell you why it is.

I used to value food more than people. That might sound insane, but hear me out. In restaurant situations, especially. I know this because I wouldn't put down my fork, take the time to have conversation, and make the people I am with more important than the food in front of me.

Have you ever noticed the ways we use food? It can drive us to emotional heights and depths. And in a celebratory setting like a restaurant with friends, for me it became the thing I enjoyed more than the people I was with.

So putting the fork down was awesome. Stopping before I was full was awesome. And the conversation...was more awesome than ever. When I am able to let go of the food in my hand, I can hold onto the people that want to know me better. That's pretty awesome.

Cheers for small victories!

-Liz

Getting real with myself.

What do you do when the one thing you have always turned to for comfort is...gone?

I don't know what that one thing is for you. It might be a person, a hobby, or maybe if you're like me, an addiction. My addiction was always food, and it was always there for me. See, unlike a person, you know exactly what you're going to get with food. Unlike a person, it's always available, and unlike a person, it's simple. I know the cost, the taste, the emotions, the process. It's a pretty sick cycle really. But isn't every misplaced comfort like that? We go to these people and things to love us unconditionally, when that is the job of only one person.

God.

God is the only one that can handle that pressure and that expectation. Unconditional love. Never lets me down. Knows my every secret, every sin, every dark, twisted thought, and thinks I am beautiful nonetheless. I can hate Him, turn my back on Him, curse His name, and disown Him, and He keeps His arms open.

There is no one else on earth that will do that for me.

Now that the food is gone (well, the unlimited amounts of comfort food, that is) - the raw emotion remains. I am now dealing with pain and insecurity that I used to just stuff down with food. Every day is a new battle and a new emotion and a new perspective. The only consistent I have right now is Jesus. I'm pretty sure that this is a good place to be. And in a few months, I'll probably believe that 100% without fear.

Stay tuned!

-Liz

If the world was a village of 100 people...

Lately I have been unbelievably wrapped up in myself. I can't even explain to you how selfish I've felt lately. My focus has been on me, on my weight, on my progress. Me, me, me. If you read my journal, you would notice that every paragraph starts with "I". Here is a little reminder of the reality of the world bigger than you and me:

If we could reduce the world's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all existing human ratios remaining the same, the demographics would look something like this:
The village would have 61 Asians, 13 Africans, 12 Europeans, 9 Latin Americans, and 5 from the USA and Canada.

50 would be male, 50 would be female
75 would be non-white; 25 white
67 would be non-Christian; 33 would be Christian
80 would live in substandard housing
16 would be unable to read or write
50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
33 would be without access to a safe water supply
39 would lack access to improved sanitation
24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76 that do
have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
8 people would have access to the Internet
1 would have a college education
1 would have HIV
2 would be near birth; 1 near death
5 would control 32% of the entire world's wealth; all 5 would be US citizens
48 would live on less than US$ 2 a day
20 would live on less than US$ 1 a day

Remember your value today. And remember that your value will never change based on what is in your pocket, the color of your skin, your weight, or your social networks.

-Liz

Freaking HURRY UP.

I would like to snap my fingers and be done with losing weight.

But I'm never going to be done. And that really depresses me. I know it shouldn't, but it's just a reality that I am having to embrace. Truthfully, it's not about losing weight. It's about my health. And that's just the beginning.

I weigh in once a week with my trainer. Today was not a good weigh-in. I didn't cheat, I didn't do anything different, and in fact, my body felt great. I am learning more about myself and growing closer to God than I ever have before. And I am battling stronger than ever. My clothes are loose, my energy is up, my sleep is awesome.

But one bad number on the scale will send me over the edge. And it did.

I know that God is teaching me things today. I know He is teaching me that there is so much to learn in the waiting. I know that He is refining me. I know that He is showing me love and care and that it is a process. I know all of these things but right now, in this moment, I want to quit and go hang out with my friends Ben and Jerry.

I won't. Don't worry. Just a little more feeling sorry for myself and then tomorrow is a new day. The one lesson I am learning at this very moment? Being successful does not mean that every day is roses. It takes sun and rain to make things grow. Today it's pretty rainy. (it's also 75 degrees in December and later I will be running outside with shorts and a t-shirt so...at least I have that going for me)

-Liz

Afraid to move on

I have a closet full of clothes that are now too big. And a drawer full of them. Well, several drawers full of them.

The other day, I emptied out the drawers but I just transferred the big clothes to two plastic bins. Still in my house, still there just in case. Just in case?

Just in case I gain all the weight back. Just in case I decide to give up. If I keep those clothes, I can always go back to them, and no one would ever know that I lost the battle. I would just go back in time like all of this never happened.

Well as God tends to do, he slapped me upside the head today. Why would I choose to go back to that lifestyle of selfishness and disobedience? To not living a full life? To rejecting my newness in Christ? The only way for me to be obedient to God this way is to get rid of the clothes I have been holding onto "just in case."

Once I stacked them all up I saw a lot of memories. A lot of looks in the mirror hating the person I saw, and refusing to face the truth that I had to do something. But now, no matter what size, I am learning to love myself through changes. (Don't skip over that "no matter what size" part.)

So here's what moving forward looks like. Without a net of big clothes to catch me. Yikes.

Food Focus



Entenmenn's Raspberry danish twist. It was
not uncommon for me to take care of the
whole box in one sitting. Yikes.

 Why is everything centered around food?

I wish I could tell you how many times my social life has been centered on food. Where are we eating? What do they have? What are the portions like?

One of the reasons I love Mexican food so much is because they give you bottomless chips and salsa. Bottomless. Do I really need to eat a bottomless anything?

The more frustrating thing for me recently is, because I've change my eating habits, I've had to change my social habits. No matter where you live in the world, you think it's boring. And when you're bored, what do you do? You eat. Using food to fill my boredom has given me an idea to list the other ways that I have used food in the past. Maybe you can relate to some of these:

1. Food is my reward
2. Food is my stress reliever
3. Food is my comfort
4. Food is my distraction
5. Food is my pain reliever
6. Food is my best friend
7. Food is my substitute for loneliness
8. Food is my social focus
9. Food is my constant companion. Always there, always the same, always good.

And that's where I stop. Because it's just not true. Food will never fill those roles in my life, and unfortunately I have let it be all of those things for far too many years. I just finished a book called "Thin Within" that I highly recommend, and in it, there is an exercise where you list certain foods that, in your life, have been your choice in times of certain emotion. For instance...

• When I am feeling sick, I eat....
• When I am bored, I eat...
• When I am celebrating, I eat...
• When I am with my family, I eat...

And I could fill in all 25 of the emotional blanks. I knew right away what foods were associated with what emotions. Entenmann's, Bojangles, Ben & Jerry's, donuts, pizza, sushi, on and on and on.

What's the point? The point is this: we let food be the center of our worlds and the center of our emotions. Connect the dots on that has been HUGE for me. I hope that I can shift this food focused life to a God focused life and continue to believe in myself more than I believe in temporary satisfaction.

Get on board with me. Things are about to get crazy.

-Liz

Victoria, We've Got Our Own Secret

This is an article from our friend Ryan Beckler at Penn State. The original can be found here. If you are too lazy to click (and some of us are), here it is below:

Given what November has been like, last night was pretty usual. I covered a panel discussing the scandal, then I picked up D.P. Dough on the way home. I got home around 10:15 p.m., and, like millions of other American men, I flipped on the Victoria’s Secret fashion show. I sat down, started watching, and opened up my computer.

About 30 seconds in, I saw one girl and thought, “Wow! She’s really… skinny.” She wasn’t the only one. I kept thinking, “She’d be much more attractive if you put another 15 pounds on her.”

A commercial break allowed me to check my social media streams. I was pretty shocked at what girls were posting/tweeting:

• “BRB, starving myself. Thank you, VS fashion show.”
• “Victoria secret fashion show = going to throw up to make myself look that good!”
• “NEVER. EATING. AGAIN.”
• “Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.. now I feel like a whale =[ “

Huh? What the hell? Something is seriously wrong here. I quickly realized that this is a BIG American issue. Young ladies in high school and college are striving to have these razor thin bodies. So I guess my question is, what is the motive? If you think you’re impressing men with pointy hips and no butt, I have some bad news: it’s not attractive. I’m sure the male population is behind me when I say that we prefer curves.

Now, my mother raised me to be a gentleman. A real man just wants a girl to be herself, physically and socially. We like you for who you are, not for who you aspire to be. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who’s confident and comfortable with who she is. Also, the ability to have an intelligent conversation is much more important than your dress size to us. Believe me when I say that.

Ladies, you may ask, “So, Ryan, what if being myself isn’t good enough for him?” Guess what? He’s not worth a second of your time.

With all of that said, I hope that you understand that there’s really no need to strive for that famed “Victoria’s Secret Angel” body (if you already have it, good for you, but there’s no need to make it your aim). The American generalization that you’re not perfect unless you’re 6’1” and 115 pounds is false, shallow, and wrong. You’re perfectly fine as is.

I’m not just saying that, either.

So please, ladies, keep eating. We’ll still love you. Promise.

Beautiful, Scandalous...weight.

"Even the skinniest girls struggle with their weight."

Yeah right. I've never believed that. Probably because I've never been skinny. Ever. Today is a milestone for me. I've lost 35 pounds in 3 months, and I am the thinnest I've been since I can remember recording my weight.

I'm not bragging about that. But I am about to tell you how I got there. And how I will continue to get there. Ready?

I believe whole heartedly that I was created for more.

Yes, I changed my eating habits and workout routine, but the change that has been the hardest was shifting from the fat girl defeatist mentality to the new creation in Christ mentality.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, she is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come." - 2nd Corinthians 5:17. Is it possible that God cares about my weight? I have found that  it's not only possible, it is an absolute truth. I don't know what weight you are, or what thing is holding you back from accepting love. For me, it has always been my weight. Always. It is this barrier that surrounds me from letting people in. But you know what I realized? Not letting people in is the same thing as not letting me out. I was stuck, and I was the one in isolation. Ultimately, I am the one that has gotten hurt the most.

God wants to make me new. Every day. He wants me to know that I am loved completely, at any weight, at any size, at any color, at any mistake. So I could lose 100 pounds tomorrow, and until I believe that, I will struggle at 150 pounds just like I would at 350 pounds.

Your weight struggles, your performance struggles, your fear of letting people in, your loss of a relationship, your pain whatever it may be, all comes from the same lonely place of not knowing what you're worth. When we believe we are worth it, we will do a lot of crazy things. We will leave a bad relationship. We will stop stuffing our feelings down with food. We will quit drinking. We will go to church for the first time. We will accept a compliment. Whatever it is.

You are amongst the community of broken people finding our way to wholeness. You are at home, and you are not alone.

-Liz

Walking Alone in America

I am thinking about writing a book on loneliness. Specifically, loneliness in America.

Henri Nouwen says that "while the rest of the world lives off of $2 a day, the greatest American poverty is loneliness."

It's my biggest struggle. And it's a struggle that doesn't go away. I can't run from it, I can't hide from it, I can only walk towards it and through it, praying that this time won't be as bad as the last.

Why is this America's greatest poverty? I'm not sure that we have learned the value of community yet. I am not a world traveler, I have only traveled to one country outside of the U.S. and that's Jamaica. But what I learned there, I am sure, can translate to the rest of the world. Those that are poor seek wealth in their community. In relationships. We are so rich in resources here in America that we don't have to rely on anyone. But isn't that the lie that we all believe?

I don't know about you, but I see my community seemingly unable to love each other in the way that Jesus calls us to. Do you see people carrying each others burdens? Bearing with one another in brotherly love? Giving away our money? Sharing our resources? Sharing our homes? Having church that lasts as long as it takes, and maybe past the sixty minutes that people are comfortable with?

Here is the hope I found. And I read it from, you guessed it, Henri Nouwen. "Our moments of deep despair and loneliness are actually a call towards solitude with God." Our world is loud, entertaining, comfortable, excessive, and unbelievably lonely. In your moments of loneliness, God is right there with you. That feeling in your gut of despair and longing for comfort is your heart crying out for your Dad, your Creator, your Lord. You will want to ignore that fact, because when you believe it, your whole heart will change. Your world will be rocked. And your loneliness will lose power.

Walk towards God in your loneliness, and stay with Him especially when it's uncomfortable. The longer you stay, the more the despair will fade and make room for hope. And hope does not disappoint.

-Liz

You look great! Keep going!

Me, Rich, Ryan, and Austin in a 5k back in March.

I've been doing this weight loss thing for a couple months now. I have lost enough weight that people notice. Coincidentally, I work in a place where there are a LOT of people in and out, and most of them are on a quest to get healthy. So it's a topic of conversation.

I guess it's no surprise that it's hard to take a compliment. It's hard for us to just say "thank you" when someone genuinely compliments us. The surprising thing for me is that, as I am searching for motivation every single day, I receive motivation in the form of a compliment yet my gut reaction is to reject the compliment. Here are some of the responses I have given lately:

• Thanks, but it's a slow process.
• Yeah, I have a long way to go.
• Ugh, this is only the beginning.
• I don't feel great, I didn't lose any weight this week.
• It's going to take me forever to reach my goal.

Why is it so hard for me to accept what I am looking for? I pray for motivation and God gives it to me. But instead of accepting that gift, I lessen it, I adjust it, I make it manageable for me to take in. My terms, my way, my excuses. Because, what if I don't keep going? What if I fail? What if I don't meet the goals that I set for myself? Now that people are noticing, I am on display. I can't screw it up. I don't want to be embarrassed. Did you notice how many "I" statements I just wrote in a row? Too many. Too freaking many.

It's not about me. It's not about my way. If I tried it God's way, I would be gracious. If I tried it God's way, I would be patient with myself. If I tried it God's way, I would rejoice in the small opportunity to glorify God when people ask me how I'm doing this, because I'll be honest...I have no idea how I'm doing it some days. That's how I know that someone else is in charge.

Seems like God might have a better idea of what I need than I do. So for all the people that have said kind words to me lately, thank you. Thank you, thank you. And yes, I will keep going! We all will!

-Liz

To tweet or not to tweet?

I have a feeling that I am not the only one that has typed out a status update on Facebook, was about to hit return, and paused. Pause. Should I really write this?

I also have a sinking feeling that most of us type out one of the below ten things and let the tweets fly. There it goes. Into the world and ready to make waves. But as it turns out, these waves are capsizing people all over your little corner of the internet.

Is it revolutionary for us to start being responsible for what we put out into the world? HECK YES. And chances are, you've broken a lot of these rules, and so have I, but let's just put pride aside and admit that all of us need to change the way we use the technology beast.

1. Countdowns. Countdowns to your wedding, your move, your birthday, your graduation, your anything. Your countdown updates are our groans and eye rolling. The ones that you know and love already know the dates that are important in your life. The rest of us just feel like our lives aren't as exciting because we have nothing to count down to.
2. Angsty song lyrics that are actually about your ex. We all know it's not just song lyrics. And we are all wondering if your ex has seen it and what other public fallout will ensue. 
3. The sarcastic update. You know the one. It's the veiled complaint, the reference to your sweet life that is actually a long list of complaints because of school, family frustrations, work, etc. Wouldn't it be awesome if we were just straight up about this stuff and call it like it is?
4. The mean girl statement. You know that this status is for an audience of one: the person that hurt you. It's passive aggressive, and it's public. Bad combo.
5. Rap lyrics. Pretty much, all rap lyrics are foul play. But if it's Young MC I think that's awesome.
6. Breaking news! It's snowing! 2 hour delay! Hey, did you hear what happened at Penn State? Carolina won! State lost! We know...we know.
7. MAKE THIS YOUR STATUS AND FACEBOOK WILL DONATE 45 CENTS TO SAVE A LITTLE BOY'S LIFE! No they won't. Haven't you seen Social Network? Mark Zuckerberg is not a facebook philanthropist.
8. My team rules. Your team sucks. Do we realize that when we make sides like these, we are alienating a whole other group of people? State or Carolina, Democrat or Republican, does it matter? We are all people and we all deserve to be loved and accepted. We all have value, regardless of social or political associations.
9. The I'm gonna make you jealous tweet. I'm in the 3rd row! I just got a new car and here's a picture! Check out my new UGGS! It's painful because it's obvious. It's also painful because it does make us jealous. Hopefully, that's not your conscious intent. Hopefully, one day we won't care as much about what we have or have not.
10. The philosopher. Guilty! I am guilty as charged! I break this one all the time. My only reservation for this is that, a lot of people don't care what I have to say...until they know that I care about them.

I don't know what the next big thing will be in social media, but I do know that it's not going away. So we have to be responsible. We just do. And now, everyone can call me out when I break one of my own judgmental rules. Bring it, people! I need it as much as, and probably more than you do!

-Liz

Yes, I have an opinion. But maybe you didn't ask for it?

In light of recent events, I thought I might remind everyone that I have an opinion. About a lot of things. In fact, I am quite opinionated. I believe that there is a superior kind of peanut butter and it's crunchy. I feel strongly that you should always tip your waitress because even if she was terrible, she deserves it. I believe in holding the door open, saying thank you, giving a courtesy laugh every now and then, and that New Jersey is by far the best Real Housewives franchise that's ever been.

I have opinions. And I am realizing that these opinions, out of context, can cast judgment and alienate people. Yes, I am talking about your Facebook status options.

We have lots of options. Just today, I wanted to write about ten different things for my Facebook status but didn't. What stopped me? God. I thought about God. I thought about Jesus, specifically. He had this unbelievable way of knowing people's stories. He was the only one that had the right to judge because He was God, but He never left people feeling judged. He left people challenged, loved, and changed. Do my opinions do that? My random opinions are powerful, and can leave people judged. Especially when they are a Facebook status, or a tweet, or a text.

If you ask me my opinion, I will gladly share. Because that probably means that we know each other, and we know a little bit about each other's stories. That makes our relationship the priority over our opinions.

I guess my thought today is...what if we chose relationships over being right? What if I placed my value in giving and accepting love and not being the smartest or snarkiest person on the internet? A lot of what ifs. But unfortunately, a lot more opinions being thrown every which way.

Seriously though, crunchy peanut butter is WAY better than creamy. For that, I will not apologize.

-Liz

“So where have you been all semester?”

I didn’t even know how to respond because I couldn’t come up with a quick enough lie. The reality is that I haven’t been around. I haven’t really been that social. I haven’t made the biggest effort in the world to hang out with people. I have been intentionally keeping people at a distance.

Truth is, I get scared that people can’t relate to what I think, how I feel, or how I have changed over the past few years. It’s scary to put yourself out there, being open and real with someone, and being exposed to potential judgment.

Have you ever felt like you were so misunderstood that it would be a waste of time to let someone get to know you? I have wasted this semester being trapped in a lie and believing something about myself that just isn’t true. I am slowly starting to believe that there are people who want to get to know me and that I can’t be afraid to show them who I really am.

What is keeping you from letting people in? Maybe you’re too prideful to apologize or forgive someone close to you. Maybe you see something about yourself that you want to change, but it seems too hard or even impossible. Or maybe there is a comfort, a person or a thing, that you hold on too so tightly because you’re scared of what your life would look like without it. I know that feeling well.

But we’re not called to let our comforts and our fears grab hold of us; we are called to love. My ridiculously short life on earth is to be a result of simply just loving my friends, family, and everyone around me. I see more and more that when I choose to keep myself at a distance, physically or emotionally, I am not living out the only true purpose my life has to offer. We tend to make it harder than it needs to be, and it’s actually really simple. Just having the time to spend with someone, or even to talk to someone, could change a life. It could even be yours. So instead of hiding behind our fears and our flaws, we can be real and acknowledge the things in life that hold us back from simply loving those around us.

Maybe instead of pulling out the “I’m too busy” card or putting life-wasters before people, we suddenly become available. We reprioritize our schedules so that life doesn’t just pass us by like it has been, and will continue to do.

I know that it’s time to make myself available. No more walls, no more comfort zones. Someone is waiting for me to encourage them and to BE encouraged in return. It’s time I stop believing the lie that I don’t have something to offer, because even its just showing love, that’s enough.

And it’s not just my time; it’s your time too.

-Dee

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:14-16

Hallway Etiquette

Remember in high school when you were in the hallway between classes and there was that one other person coming down the hallway? You know them, but not that well. Or, you had some awkward interaction with them in the past and you would just rather not see them.

You know what I'm talking about. You're at work, you're heading to the bathroom, and in the distance here comes that person that you would just, rather not see. You groan under your breath. You might sigh. Do you pretend to check your phone for a text? Do you take a fake phone call?

We have hallway options. Here are a few great ones I've seen (I'll never admit to doing any of these):

1. Head down. The whole time. No eye contact.
2. Looking past the person, like there is something SO interesting behind them. No eye contact.
3. Head turned the other way. Sometimes WAY the other way. Hey, what's out the window? I don't care, it's gotta be better than talking to you.
4. Phantom phone call. Listening to a voicemail? Checking the invisible text? Yeah, you're not fooling anyone.
5. Head nod. Acknowledgement, but no words.

As I got older, I guess I thought that hallway etiquette would become more black and white. It's really not. Now, I think I tend to overcompensate. Am I being authentic? Am I being considerate? Did I just sound fake when I asked how that person was?

I would like to propose that we outlaw the "How are you?" question in a passing hallway conversation. I never stop and want an answer. What if, instead of getting the reply of "Good, how are you?" I got the sometimes painfully honest answer of "I'm actually not good, and I'm so glad you asked me because I would love to talk to someone about it." 

If someone answered me in that way, I would already be too far out of earshot to hear them, because I simply, don't wait for an answer, nor do I expect one.

When we ask someone how they are, are we just being polite? What's the slogan of MTV's The Real World? Let's stop being polite, and start getting real. And I don't mean reality show real, I mean, being willing to share pain real. And that starts with a stop in the hallway.

Who's keeping it real NOW?!

-Liz

Keeping up with the Kardashians...unfortunately.

BREAKING NEWS!

Not really.

Kim Kardashian is getting a divorce. 72 days after getting married. On television. For her tv show. On E!

My reason for blogging about this is not to judge or become more cynical about the world. But, I do have some observations.

For a while now, I have wondered why Kim Kardashian is famous. I've wondered why most of the high school and middle school girls I know do, in fact, keep up with that whole family. I found out that she initially was Paris Hilton's best friend and that's how she landed on America's radar. And then, a series of bad decisions actually made her MORE famous. Yes, I smirk when they spoof the sisters on SNL, and yes, I am guilty of some severe eye rolling when I hear one of them talk.

My greatest observation today, though, is this: we seem to be a culture that idolizes flawed celebrity, because it might be too much of a stretch to idolize people that actually do great things. In my parents' generation, they idolized astronauts, well-educated sports icons, squeaky clean pop stars. People that were famous for doing big things. In my generation, we idolize broken people that are famous for - being in the tabloids?

And I think it's because we can HANDLE that. If I idolize someone that walked on the moon, I have to believe that maybe, just maybe, I could one day do something that great. If I idolize Kim Kardashian, I believe that I too, can become famous for being...famous. And it's almost expected that I mess up because, I haven't done anything quite magnificent yet. It wouldn't hurt so bad if I failed.

Take it one step further. Get more personal. Do we build people up only to later have the option of tearing them down? It seems like that's the American way. We love watching a good wedding, but we might love a nasty divorce even more. Those people's problems make my life look normal. Ouch.

If we all decided to leave the Kardashians alone and had to deal with the life in front of us, things would be a whole lot different. This pressure cooker we are building of Famous America is never going to satisfy. The sooner we get that, the sooner we can all find the purpose we were created for. And if that means marriage, may it be a marriage that lasts longer than 72 days!

-Liz

A hundred gifts for a hundred families.

 I guess that if I convey my passion for this project enough, people will contribute. In less than two months, I am returning to Jamaica, to stay with the people that changed my life forever. And if that doesn't blow my mind enough, we've been asked to go back in March to deliver one hundred bins of clothes and bibles to one hundred families.

These are not Jamaican families that live near the coast with jobs, running water, and electricity. They live in a room with four walls that they are proud to call home. Kids everywhere, family lines blurred, and communities supporting each other. They hold on to each other because they don't have things to hold on to.

Pause. What if I lived like that? What if I held on to people more than I hold on to my...possessions? What if my deep friendships outnumbered my things? My dishes? My books? My t-shirts?



Here is our opportunity to make this project happen. One hundred families need to be provided for. You click here, and you have options:

1. You live near one of the listed pick-up locations, and you adopt a family to shop for.
2. You donate $50 to cover shipping for a family's bin.
3. You donate $100 to cover shipping AND shopping for a family's bin.

I have this desire in my heart to be a part of something bigger than myself. So, I know that you do, too. This is a chance to make a sacrifice. Let's skip the restaurants this week and give a family clothes. Let's tell our neighbors and our churches and our friends and our schools and our work. The one thing we CAN'T do...is nothing. 

"For whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me." -Matthew 25:40
-Liz

You've been watching too many extreme weight loss shows.

Six weeks ago I started getting really serious about losing weight. And for six weeks, I've struggled. See, I want quick fixes. I want immediate results. I want to be finished, so I can go back to El Dorado and eat three baskets of chips with the Mexican flag (sour cream, salsa, and guacamole, if you were wondering).

Why is it surprising that I want immediate gratification without the work and the waiting? I live in America. I live in a town where I can literally dream up of something delicious I want to eat or drink, and I can drive within ten minutes of any option imaginable. I can have a hot meal in 60 seconds. I can get on my computer and have a pizza delivered to my house. I can even pay a delivery guy to go to McDonald's for me so I can be a shut-in and never have to leave the comfort of my own home.

Comfort.

I was watching this show called "I Used To Be Fat" where high school kids lose 50 pounds in 2 months. And the show is only an hour long, so that seems easy and doable. And then I can flip over to the Biggest Loser where a guy can lose 17 pounds in a week. After that, I might catch Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss edition where a lady loses 150 pounds in a year. But again, it only took me 60 minutes to watch that happen, so, that seems easy.

Here's what I am figuring out about myself: I am impatient. I want it now. There is growth in the process. There is growth in the process!

So if God tells me to wait, I'll wait. And in the waiting, I will be obedient. I am actively waiting for God to work in me, and He really is. I am learning what Go|Change|Move is really about. It's about being uncomfortable enough to change. And isn't that what God is about?

God loves me so much, that He meets me where I'm at. He also loves me enough to not leave me that way.

-Liz

Blockers

You have a daily life. And so do I. And most days we go through life uninterrupted. Maybe that happens so many times, that we WISH for an uninterrupted, normal day. I don't know about you, but normal gets boring after a while.

Normal is safe. Normal is comforting. Normal is predictable. Normal, after a while, gets...boring.

And normal is a blocker. For SO MANY of us. Normal hates opportunity. If we're not careful, normal will eat us alive. So here is an abnormal opportunity for you: will you run away from normal with me and run towards helping a family that you haven't even met yet? Will you sacrifice dinner out with friends to put clothes on someone else's back? Will you bless a family with the only Christmas presents they'll get this year?

Whatever your answer is, I am hoping that we can all identify and remove the blockers in our lives. Some are financial, some are physical, some are emotional. We all have them. If you read all the way through this blog, will you take 30 seconds more and support this project to the right? 100% of your donations will go into the hands of people that need you. Families that need you. Families with names and specific needs. (for the list of families, click here).

Find the people in your life that need you. You are God's plan for saving the world. And there is no plan B. Get excited about that!

-Liz

A New Project

I have a lot of projects going on right now. Some are very personal, some are very public. I work with high schoolers, so I have that public persona, which is always a project. More kids always means you are being successful, right?

I am also learning how to accept love and give love away. That's my personal project. So personal, that I am sharing it on a blog. Nice, huh? But this particular project affects almost everything in my life: my friends, my family, my feelings of self-worth, my performance, my ability to be patient, everything.

One tangible project I have going on right now is this Buckets of Blessings thing I am doing in preparation for a missions trip to Jamaica in December. I feel such a sense of responsibility that it goes well. I talk about it all the time, I find myself selling it, just like I used to sell insurance. And then I wonder if I am selling myself in the process, or if I will perceive this to be a personal failure if I don't make it happen.

Do I realize that it's not about me? Do I know that this is bigger than me? In fact, do I know that I am not the one who gets to decide my self-worth? I am not the one that gets to decide what happiness is, what success is, what failure looks like. I am not the one who determines who is good, who is bad, who wins, who loses, who I should love, who I should idolize, who I should care for.

If that paragraph brings you relief...GOOD. If that paragraph brings you anxiety, think it through. I am not in control. And neither are you. And that should be the greatest news ever. Because you do NOT want me to be in control, and neither do I. I don't want that pressure.

I have found, lately, that the opposite of worry is prayer. And that prayer can move the hands that move the world. And my prayer today is that God would show me how to let go, to loosen my fist, and trust my life to the one that made me. That's the best project I could have.

-Liz

Where does all my money go?

So, I am going to Jamaica in December for the third time. Not to Sandals Resorts (sorry, Michael Scott). But to Whitehouse, where there is poverty and no running water and dirt and shacks and sickness. But I can't wait to go back.

And I am helping out with this project where we "adopt" a family in the community and buy them much needed clothes for Christmas. It costs $50 to ship a container for a family, and then it costs another $50 to shop for the items that that family needs. We're talking basic items. Shoes. A shirt. A bible. It has got me thinking about what I spend $50 on. Here's a nice, perhaps embarrassing, list:

• 50% of my monthly cable bill
• 20% of my monthly car payment
• 5% of my monthly mortgage payment
• a pair of TOMS
• an Izod polo (if you're luck)
• 10 lattes at Starbucks
• dinner for two
• the Sims Late Night expansion pack
• 75% of my gas tank
• 5 complete albums on iTunes
• 3 packs of coffee for my Keurig

I don't think I want to continue. What I do want to say is, we ALL belong to each other. In India, America, Jamaica, and every other corner of the world. I don't want for anything. And I have the resources to give to a family that has NOTHING. So do you. So change the world from your chair. With $50 and a credit card. Check this out: http://www.jaminjamaica.com/container2011.php and then watch for the pictures I'm going to post of me, giving the gifts that YOU bought, to the families you adopt.

-Liz

Here's a start

So, I have a tangible way that you can change the lives of people that need you. If you follow this blog, you'd know that I have taken two trips to Jamaica to work with people living in poverty, and am preparing to take a third trip in December. KBM, the group we work with, is putting together a shipping container to send clothings to specific families in need. YOU CAN HELP. You simply register for one of the families listed, and you can either shop for them, or simply donate money to them so KBM can purchase what they need.

Jamaica is a popular vacation spot, but it is a 3rd world country, where over 1/2 of the people don't have electricity or running water. This is an EASY way for you to change the world. Soemthing as insignificant to you as a pair of shoes could mean the world to a child that has never had their own pair of shoes.

Go here to check it out and see what KBM is doing to transform a community in need.

-Liz

Sam's Town

Submitted by my friend Sam...and then thank Sam for his honesty that should remind you that you're not alone.

19 September 2011

What is it about tragedy that makes us honest with God? I wish I knew. But every time I experience some kind of set back, I seem to see God more clearly than ever before. And while this is all fine and good, a part of me hates myself for it. I mean…why now? Why not back then, when I was swimming in blessings, in His grace? He gives me all I need and more, and even though I call myself a warrior for him, I always end up defecting to the other side. I forsake Him and try to hold my own. I soak up the world for a while and delude myself into think that this is it. But then the rains come.

I had a bad day today. The worst in a while, actually. I prayed and was more honest with God than I had been in months. And even though I loved the feeling of His arms supporting me, I couldn’t help but grimace at my own lack of faith. That’s not the kind of love He deserves. He deserves SO MUCH MORE.

I want to love God the way we all should – proportionate to His love for us. But I know that’s impossible! It’s silly to even say it. To love God as much as He loves you is like trying to climb to the moon. Or like an infant trying to raise its parent. Or like…breathing underwater, forever. It simply can’t be done.

If it takes tragedy to bring me as close to God as I was today, bring on the rain. But I’d rather just learn to love Him right. So that’s gonna be my next few months, learning to love better. I’m not gonna try it by myself either. I’m going to seek others, surround myself with more of His children and love them better too. I guarantee I will screw up again and again but as long as He keeps being my Father, I’m gonna try my damnedest to be His son, in good times and bad.

-Sam

Fashion saves lives.

Our Etsy shop is reopened! You'll see a lot more styles being added over the next few days (thanks Becca!) Click here to start saving lives.

For every pair of earrings you buy, we send half of the money to World Vision to support their work in Ethiopia. Our goal is to watch the money you donate transform the lives in a specific area of the world. We are working with World Vision over the next few weeks to get status reports on current projects and ways we can support them. Once we have that specific info, you will see it here! To see what World Vision is doing in Ethiopia, click here.

GCM originally developed a relationship with the country of Ethiopia through the Experience: AIDS project that came to the Cary YMCA. To see that exhibit, click here.

So go ahead and shop! Be fashionable and know that you are making a big difference and starting a relationship with Ethiopia!
-Liz

Double Rainbow

So I was on a group kayaking jaunt for our work retreat yesterday. It was super quiet and calm on the sound, and we were paddling through grassy, marsh areas. Beautiful weather. Blue skies.

My co-worker was on a boat to my left and said "When I look at this, I can't believe that people don't think there is someone behind the design of the world, that we are just an accident and the world just happened to come together like this."

My audible response was "I think it's easier for people to just believe it's 'Mother Nature.'"

So then, my internal monologue kicked in. If we explain the beauty of the world by saying it's Mother Nature or pure environmental beauty, then we don't have to really respond. We can just admire the beauty from afar, when we want, and then we can walk away, when we want. We can forget. We can remain unchanged. We can do whatever we want.

But if we explain the beauty of the world by saying that there is a Creator that made this for ME to enjoy, well then, I have to respond. Think of it as the most elaborate, expensive, impossible gift that anyone has ever given you. Impossible to repay, impossible to forget, impossible to ignore. A gift that changes everything. A gift that lasts your whole life and then some. A gift that you didn't deserve, but it's yours to take.

But you have to take it.

See, the thing with God is, we can't remain unchanged. Otherwise we never accepted the gift at all. Do you see God in your life? Do you see him in people? Do you notice him trying to get your attention in nature? In a sunset or a rainstorm? If you look for him, you'll see him. And if you look for him tomorrow, you'll find him a thousand different ways.

The double rainbow guy was right. Oh my God.

Meeting people is easy! Right?!

Lately I have been meeting a lot of new people. A lot. In my job, I meet a lot of families. And I am at a new church, so there's a lot of new people to get to know there, too. If you ask me what one of strengths is, I would tell you that I love to meet new people and get to know them, and that I can talk to anyone and make them comfortable.

Here's why life has made that hard for me lately: there are TOO MANY ways to greet people. I've compiled a list of possible greeting options:

• The standard hand shake
• The urban hand shake (I don't know another way to describe this one, it's the one where you grab the hand and curve up the thumb. It's really cool.)
• The urban hand shake and one arm hug
• The urban hand shake and thumb snap release
• The pound
• The pound and blow up release
• The head nod
• The wave
• The side hug
• The full frontal hug
• The double cheek kiss (I just see this on the Real Housewives of New York, so I will include it)
• The slap five
• The high five
• The high five miss fake out low five
• The high five and hold on so you are now shaking hands with your arms raised in the air

I know there are more. But you get the picture. So you get past that initial awkwardness, and then, if you're like me, you immediately want to get past small talk. And as much as I would like that, I have to admit, you can't get past small talk. It would be great to go up to someone and say "Hey, let's skip the small talk. What's your deepest, darkest, secret?" My friend actually tried that tonight with a new person we met, and we said we were kidding. (But we weren't really kidding...it would be great if that worked.)

So there is no such thing as "speed friending." Meeting people isn't easy. Because what I am really afraid of, if I'm being honest, is to let people in right away before they have earned the right to be let in. But isn't that selfish? Most of us NEVER let people know us, regardless of how long we've known them! Some marriages are like this! Imagine knowing someone your whole life and not letting them know you back!

Here's an awkward high five in celebration of awkwardness. Keep being awkward, people. Because we are ALL awkward. And if we get past the awkwardness, we'll realize that we are all trying to do this thing together, and that it is NOT good to be alone.

-Liz

Quit being a survivor.

An excerpt from "The Road to Daybreak" by Henri Nouwen:

To celebrate life together, to be together in community, to simply enjoy the beauty of creation, the love of people and the goodness of God - those seem faraway ideals. There seems to be a mountain of obstacles preventing people from being where their hearts want to be. It is so painful to watch and experience. The astonishing things is that the battle for survival has become so "normal" that few people really believe that it can be different. I now understand better why my friends who came to Trosly were so deeply touched. A world they didn't know existed had opened up for them.

Are we in a battle for survival? Are we living life from moment to moment, just hoping to get by and get out alive? Where do you want to be? Deep in your heart, where do you want to be? Why aren't you there?

I make a lot of excuses, so that I don't have to make a change. Usually, the only obstacle to me, is...me. Can we quit just trying to survive and start trying to live?
-Liz

A perfect prayer

From Henri Nouwen's "The Road to Daybreak" :

"O Lord, help me not to be distracted by power and wealth; help me not to be impressed by knowing the stars and heroes of this world. Open my eyes to the suffering of your people, whoever they are, and give me the word that can bring healing and consolation. Amen."

Oh, the things I care about. And look at. And read about. If I gave half of that energy and curiousity to my relationship with Jesus, how much closer would I be to knowing Him, and understanding what true love is?

Wealth and power and fame and fortune and being impressive and relevant and awesome and attractive and funny and funnier and the funniest and an expert and well-read and successful and on and on and on...

Are you as exhausted as I am?
-Liz

"O Lord, help me not to be distracted by power and wealth; help me not to be impressed by knowing the stars and heroes of this world. Open my eyes to the suffering of your people, whoever they are, and give me the word that can bring healing and consolation. Amen."

"I want to have pride like my mother had...

...but not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad." -The Avett Brothers

There is this saying that, the things that annoy you MOST in people - these things annoy you the most because you see those characteristics in you and you HATE that in yourself.

Of course, that doesn't apply to me. I'm perfect. Well, not perfect, but I'm usually right. And I usually know the right thing to do. I am a great judge of character and am personable and funny and I don't care if people don't like me. It must be them. Not me.

I truly believed that. I catch myself truly believing that now. In small moments, I realize how prideful I am and I am honestly humbled by the bigness of God and the smallness of me. But in every other moment...I am self-righteous and proud and cocky (and I know it's cocky and not confident) and unteachable.

People ask me what I think about things, a lot. And I am critical. A lot. And unimpressed and smug and jaded. When did that happen? When did I become that snobby, distant, self-righteous, judgmental Christian that pretends to have it all together? Because that person...that person annoys me. Those characteristics wrapped up in the same package annoys me. A lot. And here it is, in the mirror, looking back at me. When did that happen?

I think it happened when I stopped letting people know me. And it probably happened when I thought I needed to show people I have it all together so that I would be loved. And it might have happened when I put limits on God and asked Him to get on board with my plan, rather than get on board with His plan. Oh yeah, and it happened when I stopped giving my everyday moments to God.

Tomorrow I will wake up, and I will fight the urge to be a Christian snob. But I won't give up fighting. All day. And I'll make some serious mistakes, but I will give those mistakes to God and pray that He would continue to change my heart. That He would make me soft, and not cold and hardened to the world.


"But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory." -Daniel 5:20


Be soft, people. I dare you.


-Liz