Fight for yourself.

I went back to work yesterday, thankfully. I am four weeks out from surgery, and I feel good. Some days I feel like I got hit by a train, though. I get tired pretty easily which, I guess is what happens when you only take in about 500 calories a day.

The weight loss has been rapid since surgery. My clothes are baggy and my face looks noticeably different. The scale has been an encouraging indicator, too. Until this week.

Oh, the scale...

My doctor warned me about the stalls that come with this process, and I am in the middle of one. I hit 49 pounds lost and I was PUMPED to get to 50 pounds down and counting! I was losing about a pound a day and chugging right along. Until this week.

I am stalled. I have been stalled for about 5 days now. And here's what happens in my brain when progress (any kind of progress) stalls.

I guess it didn't work. This is as good as it will get. I won't do any better than this. Oh well, I gave it a good try. This might have worked for other people, but not me. I quit.

And phase two of that defeat is to go back to old habits, old relationships, old ways of life. Somewhere deep down, we all fight those demons that tell us we don't deserve better. We don't deserve happiness like we've never known. We don't deserve love like we've never known. We don't deserve life more abundantly than before. Why do we allow those demons to win?

The scale puts my brain in that scary spot.

In the past...a defeating number on the scale would send me into the arms of Ben and Jerry's. Or Sara Lee. Or Burger King, or whatever. But not this time. I am fighting for myself. I refuse to go backwards, to sabotage myself, to settle. I didn't come this far in my life to throw it away over a speed bump.

Stalls are a part of life. But we have to work through them, because we deserve everything that waits for us on the other side. Everything. Stay the course. Let people into it with you. Fight for yourself.