It was a HARD day for me, and I couldn't really figure out why. I had a good night with great friends, I had a good workout, I was with some ladies from church at a baby shower...it should have been a day of celebrating life. I mean, I am almost 70 pounds lighter and certainly more secure in Jesus, so what's the deal?
Can I be honest? You know what the best part about a birthday is? You know what the best part of any celebration is? CAKE. FOOD. PARTY. FOOD. CAKE. ICE CREAM. CAKE. This year...no cake. No ice cream. No fun.
The thought crossed my mind yesterday that crosses all of our minds sometimes: "It's my birthday. Why can't I have cake? I deserve it. This is so stupid."
I have lived 35 years that way, thinking about what I deserved, and indulging in every single thing that I thought I deserved. That put me into a mental state that is pretty frightening as I look back on it. Let me be clear...food itself won't make us sick. Using food as a substitute for God...will. And that's what I did.
- Did I need comfort? -food
- Was I bored? - food
- Was I sad? - food
- Was I sick? - food
Is that the life that I truly deserved?
So, although yesterday was hard, I am glad that I did NOT use food to celebrate, to comfort, to entertain, and to numb. Instead, I am staying in the fight and acknowledging that high fructose corn syrup will not give me life. Jesus will. Red dye #6 will not heal my hurts. Jesus will. Enriched bleached flour will not walk beside me in the midst of pain. Jesus will.
This...THIS is the life that we truly deserve.
-Liz
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