Is it a good thing or a God thing?

I have had quite an introspective few days. God has been teaching me a lot about the following emotions:

• jealousy
• isolation
• fear of failure
• perserverence
• anxiety/worry

I woke up this morning and I had that old feeling of sadness that used to get me all the time. I have connected that feeling of morning sadness, for the most part, to guilt for what I ate the day before, a hopelessness that I could never change my life. But this morning, I connected it to a hopelessness that I couldn't sustain this change in my life.

Recognizing that my mind is a battlefield has been a big revelation for me. Joyce Meyers has a book called "Battlefield of the Mind" that I am reading for the 2nd time right now. I am choosing God in these moments of desperation, when my old choices used to make me sick. Anything I choose over God will make me sick. These things become our idols and at some point, leave us emptier than when we began. They can be other people, food, alcohol, tv, work, busyness, depression, you can fill in the blank for whatever yours is. Even church can be an idol when it takes the place of Jesus Himself.

See, there are a LOT of good things I can do. Church is a good thing. Friends are a good thing. Exercise is a good thing. But none of these are God. And I can't put God in front of them. Think about your life as a pie. Not that kind of pie...a pie CHART. Do you put God into a little sliver of that pie chart? Is He 5%? Does He squeeze in somewhere between work and family? Is He 0.5% because that's all you have left?

Shouldn't God be the whole pie chart? Shouldn't He be the One in every single part of my life? He did give it to me, after all. Why is He getting my leftovers? What if I gave it to Him and let Him deal with all these emotions that wage war in my mind? The whole pie, where all those emotions like to dig into...not just leftovers.

Leftover pie...shoot. Now that's a visual I need to scare away. Thanks a lot.

-Liz