Wait, it doesn't mean what you think it means.
One of my friends from work said that to me a few weeks ago. And when she said it, it was in reference to my blog. It took me a second to understand what she meant. And my face displayed my confusion. She explained.
"I could never say what you say. You are so open and out there."
Oh, I get it. Now, that is a compliment. But also a painful reminder. She was right. I am SO out there. Sometimes I'm so out here that I can get hurt. The elements get to me easier. I am more accessible to hurt. Not many people are willing to be out here with me. When I succeed, it's great! But when I fail, it is awful. The lowest of lows. Because I wonder, am I letting people down?
This week I really dug deep with eating and working out. I ate GREAT every single day. And it has truly been a battle. Of epic proportions. It is hard to not believe the lies that stop us from success. You know them as well as I do: You can't do this. It's too hard. Might as well give up. It's not fair that you have to deal with this and others don't. No one else is dealing with this. You're all alone. I have adopted something they share in Alcoholics Anonymous to combat my emotional eating: HALT.
- Hungry
- Angry
- Lonely
- Tired
If any of those emotions are allowed to take up too much real estate in your brain, you are more susceptible to backsliding and making a bad decision. Some of you might think like me: I feel one or all of those emotions to some extent ALL the time!
I am learning how to pause before I go for the food I think I want. It's no longer "What do I want to eat?" It has become "WHY do I want to eat?"
There is an emotional eating blog that has REALLY, REALLY helped me here. And in the meantime, I would love some company out there. Because being so out there can be really, really, lonely.
-Liz
Hey Liz! I agree - you are so out there! And I am so grateful. I think about my inner core and the (large) wall of defenses I've built around my core to protect it - and then I read your blog and see where you bring your wall down and admit where some of your weaknesses are and how you tackle them. You are an awesome role model. And you send such an awesome message - "here is a problem I have, here is how I feel about it and here is what I hope to do about it."
ReplyDeleteI may not always be facing the same problem you are on any given day - but when you put your blog out, I enjoy reading it and am able to apply the points to the problems I am facing. My negative thought is always "I am unlikeable." And it rolls around a lot in my head when I am feeling Angry, Lonely and Tired. And I have to stop and challenge the thought when it comes around. See? I do: I feel one or all of those emotions to some extent ALL the time.
So - your ability to talk so openly about yourself and your struggles - to put yourself out there. Well - thank you! And I will give you so company out there. At least I'll do my best :)
Robyn, this is awesome. And I am already implementing some of the tips you gave me on food and hot tea, etc. We need to keep making these decisions DAILY to change our lives! You and I are in this together! This is a BIG deal for me. No kidding...
DeleteHi, Liz! I've been reading your blog for several months now. My friend Ali recommended you to me, and I'm thankful she did. You've encouraged me along the way, even if you didn't know it. :0)
ReplyDeleteI have a blog also. You don't have to read it, but you can click over if you'd like. chubbychelley.blogspot.com
My friend Michelle has a blog also that has been an encouragement to me. ajourneyofawesomeness.blogspot.com
I'm telling you this as an extra reminder that you're not alone. There are other people out there struggling with the issues. Some days we battle the sin better than others, but we're all in the fight, trusting that God is at work in us.
Thanks for blogging! Keep up the fight!
Rachelle
Rachelle! Thanks! Consider you and Michelle followed! I am always surprised at how connection helps me to not overeat and fall into my unhealthy traps. Every single blog helps me!
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