"I want to have pride like my mother had...

...but not like the kind in the Bible that turns you bad." -The Avett Brothers

There is this saying that, the things that annoy you MOST in people - these things annoy you the most because you see those characteristics in you and you HATE that in yourself.

Of course, that doesn't apply to me. I'm perfect. Well, not perfect, but I'm usually right. And I usually know the right thing to do. I am a great judge of character and am personable and funny and I don't care if people don't like me. It must be them. Not me.

I truly believed that. I catch myself truly believing that now. In small moments, I realize how prideful I am and I am honestly humbled by the bigness of God and the smallness of me. But in every other moment...I am self-righteous and proud and cocky (and I know it's cocky and not confident) and unteachable.

People ask me what I think about things, a lot. And I am critical. A lot. And unimpressed and smug and jaded. When did that happen? When did I become that snobby, distant, self-righteous, judgmental Christian that pretends to have it all together? Because that person...that person annoys me. Those characteristics wrapped up in the same package annoys me. A lot. And here it is, in the mirror, looking back at me. When did that happen?

I think it happened when I stopped letting people know me. And it probably happened when I thought I needed to show people I have it all together so that I would be loved. And it might have happened when I put limits on God and asked Him to get on board with my plan, rather than get on board with His plan. Oh yeah, and it happened when I stopped giving my everyday moments to God.

Tomorrow I will wake up, and I will fight the urge to be a Christian snob. But I won't give up fighting. All day. And I'll make some serious mistakes, but I will give those mistakes to God and pray that He would continue to change my heart. That He would make me soft, and not cold and hardened to the world.


"But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory." -Daniel 5:20


Be soft, people. I dare you.


-Liz