The other day, I emptied out the drawers but I just transferred the big clothes to two plastic bins. Still in my house, still there just in case. Just in case?
Just in case I gain all the weight back. Just in case I decide to give up. If I keep those clothes, I can always go back to them, and no one would ever know that I lost the battle. I would just go back in time like all of this never happened.
Well as God tends to do, he slapped me upside the head today. Why would I choose to go back to that lifestyle of selfishness and disobedience? To not living a full life? To rejecting my newness in Christ? The only way for me to be obedient to God this way is to get rid of the clothes I have been holding onto "just in case."
Once I stacked them all up I saw a lot of memories. A lot of looks in the mirror hating the person I saw, and refusing to face the truth that I had to do something. But now, no matter what size, I am learning to love myself through changes. (Don't skip over that "no matter what size" part.)
So here's what moving forward looks like. Without a net of big clothes to catch me. Yikes.
lizzie,
ReplyDeleteyou da bomb! I remember when beth hagle gave away all of her clothes to goodwill after she lost a bunch of weight. I thought it was ballsy and awesome. way to go on your positive changes.
love and miss you,
bearie
Bearface, miss you more. And THANK YOU for the encouragement. It's freaking crazy.
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