Thankful. (but not for Thanksgiving)

Today is one of my least favorite days of the year.

Wait, let me explain.

I am a thankful person. A VERY thankful person. But I don't like thanksgiving all that much. We get together, we eat a lot, we complain a lot, we shop a lot, we spend a lot.

It's...a lot.

This year I have much to be thankful for. God is about to move me out of the waiting room and into surgery. Next Tuesday actually. This has been about a year in the making, and a really painful last three months of little sleep, restlessness, and pain.

But with all that pain has come a lot of reflection. A lot of questions for God, and a hell of a lot of surrender. It is hard for me to surrender my love for food. I just have such a deep relationship with food, that I struggle to let it go. Once again, a reason I wrestle with Thanksgiving.

I have found joy in the simple things I've always loved. Music is one of them. I have been working to convert my guest room into a music room. Today I picked up a drum set, which was my last big piece of the puzzle. My friend had a word for a room like this: her "happy room." So I filled this room with things that make me happy: a comfortable reading chair, books, drums, guitars, art. Beautiful things that bring me peace.

I spend a lot of my time trying to be someone I'm not. Trying to impress others. Trying to find eloquent words to express myself when simple words would sound better. I am so hopeful for life after back surgery. I will walk, I will swim, I will bike, and one day...

I will run again.

-Liz