Guilt is a great motivator.

I woke up this morning feeling super blah. This transition back into my daily life from Jamaica has been hard. An annoying reality for me is that the food and eating and weight part of it has been the hardest. All of a sudden, I am right back into the obsession of my body, my progress, my insecurity, my fear of failure.

It's funny how, when we're hurt, we think no one can ever understand. And because we feel that way, we decide to separate ourselves, pull away, and lock ourselves into this self-imposed prison of despair and unrealistic sadness.  So I start feeling guilty. I feel guilty about being so wrapped up in my problems, I feel guilty for not logging in my food journal last week, I feel guilty for eating that small piece of cake at Christmas dinner.

I feel guilty. And I am finding that guilt is a great motivator that I use against myself, and against others. But the way it bites you back, is that it makes you worse off than you were before.

When someone hurts me, do I make them feel guilty by withholding love from them in the hopes of teaching them a lesson? When someone doesn't call me back, do I make them feel guilty by withholding forgiveness from them? When I eat something I shouldn't, do I let that guilty feeling carry me through the rest of the day, since I already blew it that day? And since that day is ruined, why not take the week off? And before I know it, I am my own biggest critic. I have lost my identity and security. I have guilted myself into believing that I am not worth more.

I am worth more than this. And so are you. So let's all agree to stop letting guilt motivate us to hate ourselves and give up on ourselves. This stupid cycle has to stop.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone, the new has come." - 2nd Corinthians 5:17.

YOU ARE NEW! I AM NEW! Every day, every decision, every second does not have to affect the next. Don't let it. Don't let the dark past ruin your bright future.

The old has gone, the new has come.

-Liz