Freaking donuts.

Before you ask...yes, I have permission to share this story.

So, I work at the Y, and one of my co-workers, Patrick, has an office that he shares with our personal trainers. In this office, is a scale. So in this office, there are a lot of frustrated tears, but there is also the occassional celebration.

But as Patrick says, those celebrations are few and far between.

The other day, we were asking Patrick about what it's like to share the office with all these clients that are weighing in with their personal trainers. He accounts the story like this:

People usually tell me it's ok, that I can stay in there while they weigh in. I don't want to stay in there! I've made that mistake enough. These people come in there and the trainers ask how their week was, and the people complain that it was a hard week for whatever reason, and that they couldn't stick to their eating plan, so they get on the scale and they just moan and groan at whatever the number is. Why are these people surprised when they don't lose weight? I mean, quit eating those donuts!

Oh, Patrick.

Needless to say, Patrick is tall and thin. He has been working out like a pro. He's pursuing a healthy lifestyle like so many of us. Where Patrick and I are very different, however, is that he doesn't seem to struggle with the donut issue like I do.

Freaking donuts.

"Quit eating those donuts." Why can't it be this easy?

Because for me, it isn't just a simple donut. It's comfort. It's nostalgia. It's my friend. It never changes. Old reliable.

Some people say food is fuel. I say, food is friendship. But that is changing.

I am not yet at the point where I don't miss my old friends. This past weekend, I hung out with my old friends and it was AWESOME. For about thirty seconds. And then it was terrible. But it opened my eyes. What am I doing? Why am I trading my health, happiness, and community for donuts?

Secret eating. Shameful eating. The thoughts that enter your head:
I've had a long day. I deserve this. I just want to relax. I need a break from everyone.

Lies.

Quit eating those donuts. Maybe one day, that will seem easy. Maybe not. But definitely, I will reclaim my true worth, and I will start over every single day, knowing that those freaking donuts do NOT determine my worth.

-Liz